The Funeral (2007-02-07)
The funeral was held in two days not because of its elaborateness, but because there was no available opening at the crematorium the same date the wake was held. And it wasn't until two weeks after my mother-in-law passed away before the funeral home had a hall for the wake. If you go into the funeral home business in Hong Kong, you would surely make a truckload of money because there's simply waaaay too few funeral homes for the number of deaths there.
The funeral was to commence at 8pm but the immediate family members and
several relatives who helped out arrived five hours prior. There
were things to organize and special flower arrangements to get at
nearby flower shops which cater specifically for funerals. KL and
I helped stuff white envelopes with HK$1, a candy and a tissue to give
to people who attended the funeral (including us) and any worker who
delivered things to the funeral. There are many rules and customs
one has to follow in a Chinese funeral, almost all of them has no
plausible rationale behind them. They are based on superstition
and you simply respect that. Grieving family, relatives and
friends have enough on their minds without having to deal with their
tradition and beliefs challenged or questioned.
The funeral was similar to a western service as KL's mother was a
Christian. So it was a relief to know there was no white robe for
the immediate family members to don or paper artifacts to burn as
required in old-fashioned Chinese funerals. What we did have was
several pastors taking turns to conduct hymns, prayers, sermon and
blessings. There was a private 5-minute gathering of the
immediate family members around the casket in a small alcove just
before the wake started.
I at first wasn't planning to view the body because I didn't want my
last image of my mother-in-law to be what I had pictured in the
coffin. But KL saw the body prior and told me she actually looked
better than when she was at the nursing home. Besides, there's
this social obligation which means I have little choice but to do what
was expected of me. I am glad KL was right and she did look very
peaceful and good. Instead of the sallow and hollow face I used
to see at the nursing home, she was plump and ruddy, much like the way
she was when she was at her healthiest years before she was ravaged by
strokes. Modern technology and great make-up artists are
marvelous.
At the funeral, close relatives, distant relatives, relatives who are
not on friendly terms, good friends, friends whose names we barely
remembered turned up to pay their respect, some to the surprise of
us. It's like a reunion in a way where everyone caught up with
each other, a light-hearted side in a grim situation.
When it was over, we (the immediate family) lined up at the hall
entrance and shook hands with all the attendees filing past us.
Comforting words and hugs were exchanged in a subdued way.
It was around 10pm when KL and I returned to the hotel. The cremation was in the following afternoon.
Back to top
